Radical Dating Book Review and Recommendation

6 May

radical dating

Radical Dating, a book written by Diane Montgomery, Gabrielle Pickle, and Sarah Bubar, that discusses the subject of dating based on scripture. This book was written to offer help to other sisters in Christ in better glorifying God and how they can experience the ultimate relationship through Christ. This book is divided into five sections which include: 1) why you date, 2) how you date, 3) who to date, 4) what you do on the date, and 5) when the date ends. The authors discuss the difference between radical dating and societal dating which comes down to who you choose to follow in life – God or flesh. “Dating can be frivolous and futile or Christ-honoring and life-changing – all to be determined by how you go about it.” – Dorothy Kelley Patterson. This book shares a lot of truth about dating according to God’s word which is a great outline for you to follow whether you are searching for someone to date or already in a committed relationship with someone. According to the gospel, there are certain rules that a Christian should follow when dating to fully glorify God. How you choose to date is a reflection on God because it either glorifies God or harms His reputation. It is an integral part of your Christian life because how you live your life is a witness to the world and a sacrifice of worship to the Lord. Romans 12:1-2 (NIV) ~ ” Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

When it comes to love, women want to be pursued/romanced, make a difference in the life of someone else, and to be seen as a beautiful person. We have learned about great love stories throughout history over the years that have defined cultures, captivated entire generations, and last long after civilization that created it lies in ruins. There is no greater love than God in your life because of His sacrifices for us which includes: he prevailed the battle of sin for us, conquered death so we could live, and His eternal love for us. Christ is ultimately the only way you can truly experience joy, peace, and love. In Genesis 24, the Bible illustrates a true testament about Isaac and Rebekah’s love that grew because God was in control. He always put God first in all aspects of his life. On the flip side, they also discussed some stories in the Bible where the individuals were in control of their love life instead of God such as Sarah and Abraham (Genesis 16), Tamar and Judah (Genesis 38), and Bathsheba and David (2 Samuel 11). Our relationships should be in the form of a triangle because we should be focused on bringing each other closer to God. God should be the center of your relationship so He is the one in control of it. This allows Him to fulfill His plans and purpose for your life rather than you trying to manipulate the events to make them happen. We learn we are safer living out the perfect will of God in our life instead of trying to control things ourselves and end up getting hurt.

Based on societal love, one can never be fully satisfied since it is not even close to God’s love. In today’s world, we live in a society where we are so consumed by love to the extent of nothing more than personal gratification. God wants us to date a Godly man because we end of getting hurt when we choose to date someone with immoral qualities. Our society is lacking the true meaning of love because we have removed God and never know the importance of living a life of purity. The authors also discuss several myths and lies about dating based on scripture. Purity is an important aspect of dating because it affects what you do and think and a testimony of our walk with God. He purified us in order to have a relationship with Him and save us from our own well-deserved destruction. A life filled with the Holy Spirit allows us to live in righteousness and win the war against Satan. The more you focus on what you don’t have in life, the more discontent you will become with your life and God. When you learn to change your perspective on how you think, God’s peace and joy will begin to flow from your heart and you will become more content with your life. We need to learn to be blessed for all the good that God has immensely rewarded us with in life. Sometimes, God allows us to enter a relationship to become more like Christ rather than marriage. Everything that happens in our lifetime is for a reason, not a mistake. God allows us to learn valuable lessons in life through other people and our experiences. One of the hardest parts about a relationship is when you learn it did not work out for whatever reason and it must come to an end. There is a biblical way to break up with someone because He is still your brother in Christ. There are some awkward stages involved in this process, but must be handled appropriately to glorify God.

In conclusion, it is most important to always focus on your relationship with God first and foremost. You should base your relationship/date in the same manner as you would with God. God likes to be in control of our relationships because He knows what is best for us and loves us. If we do not have a loving relationship with God, we can never fully experience love for ourselves and another person as God intended for us. As Christians, we are to love God more than we love ourselves or someone else which is the exact opposite of what the media teaches us today. In today’s fallen world, society tries to portray dating do’s and don’ts in a different light than Christians. Many people in today’s times believe that you can experience true love without having a relationship with God which is a fallacy. God is the ultimate and only true love relationship that anyone can experience in life if they choose salvation over sin. When you feel pressured about issues facing your dating life, you need to take it to the Lord so He can help you overcome wrongful thoughts, fears, etc. When you desire to find love in your life, you must remember that it will be more successful when God is in control and will happen in His timing if it is in His will for your life. If you are currently single, there is a reason why God wants you to be single so you can fulfill a service to Him and is part of His purpose for your life.

This book was very thorough and covered all aspects of dating through biblical principles. It is a great book that is ideal for all singles currently dating someone. The authors give several examples of what can happen in your life when you choose to control your dating life rather than turn it over to God and how to handle the many pressures of dating in our society today. After I finished reading this book, my first thought was I wish this book or a similar book would have been available to read back in my younger days when I first started experiencing the dating world and being single. It is my hope that this book will answer questions for many Christians about dating and help several people when it comes to being single in today’s society.

A special thank you to Christian Focus Publications and Cross Focused Reviews for providing me a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.


2 Responses to “Radical Dating Book Review and Recommendation”

  1. Cross Focused Reviews May 8, 2013 at 10:14 pm #


    Thanks for being a part of the Radical Dating blog tour.

    Shaun Tabatt
    Cross Focused Reviews


  1. Radical Dating Blog Tour | Cross Focused Reviews - May 8, 2013

    […] younger days when I first started experiencing the dating world and being single.” Reviewer: Charolette Ragsdale (charoletteragsdale.wordpress.com) Rating: 5 […]

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